Monday, November 21, 2011

Daybook: Thanksgiving Week

Outside My Window:
It's the first day of Thanksgiving holiday week. It's cold outside. I can tell because it's slightly overcast, but not completely dark in the house.

I am listening to:
Tess and Sam chatter. Sam is making siren sound effects with his Lego police car. I wish it were completely quiet.

I am wearing:
jeans and a pink sweater. It's a thin pink sweater and I'm a little bit cold.  I noticed a small hole near the armhole this morning. It makes me sad that my clothes just don't seem to have much longevity.

I am pondering:
That I'm exhausted both physically and mentally. I try to keep my blog a happy place so I don't usually write down my struggles, but I'm struggling right now. I'm feeling very alone. I'm overwhelmed with my mothering duties right now. It's not easy to admit that. I never expected feel like this after the twins were born, but I do. I can't seem to order my day to build in the peace and quiet I crave. I feel selfish. I feel pulled into a thousand directions all the time. I'm having a hard time feeling hopeful about any meaningful change in my days.

I am reading:
Well, I'm almost done listening to Mindy Kaling's book, Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me?  andI'm reading The Westing Game to Luke and The Ministry of Motherhood for a Bible study. I'm also reading quilting and knitting patterns? Does that even count?

I am creating:
Despite the fact that I feel completely exhausted, I'm still knitting a ton. It amazes me that even though I don't really get to knit until after 9 pm most days that I am still finishing small items. I casted on this cape in a yarn called Holiday Lights in White to go with Tess's Christmas dress. I'm in the middle of a hat for Paul knit from sock yarn. I've knit the body of a sweater for Sammy and I'm in the middle of another cap-sleeved shirt for my friend's daughter for Christmas. Yes, I know. I'm still doing that. Every time I get semi-close to finishing something, I cast on another project. I'm sure this isn't helping what's going on in my overwhelmed brain.

I'm also working on some quilting as well. I do love to quilt, but I don't find it truly relaxing. It's fun to design quilts. It's fun to buy fabric, but it's sometimes stressful to sew those pieces together  I used 3 Woodland Bloom charm packs to create this topper. I cut all the charms in half, re-arranged them, and sewed them back into squares. Then, I sewed the rows together. Sewing the rows took way longer than I expected. Now the topper is complete, but I don't have any fabric for the both the backing and binding. I haven't figured out how when my life feels the most out of control, I add to my work by taking on more projects. Maybe this is something that I can truly control? I don't know. 

Towards Rhythm and Beauty:
I feel like I've forgotten how to achieve this at all. I feel like I'm just treading water right now.

From the kitchen:
I'm thinking about the pies I'm going to make for Thanksgiving. I think I've settled on Dutch Apple Pie and the Pumpkin Mousse Tart from Martha Stewart's Pies and Tarts. I thought that would make traditional pumpkin pie a little fancier. Paul loves Dutch apple pie and Sam loves using the Pampered Chef Apple-Peeler-Slicer-Corer. Sam can handle getting the apples ready for me.

Around the house:
fabric, yarn, books, toys, dishes....and they're not in their rightful place!

Giving Thanks for:
My chaotic life despite what I've written above.

A Few plans for this week:
making pies
Taking Luke and Sam to a youth production of The Nutcracker the Sunday after Thanksgiving
Hopefully, a date with my hubby
some dedicated knitting time

Picture Thought

Just look at those cute faces.