Less is always more

I have to admit that I'm really tired this week. I've been trying to go to bed earlier, but it really hasn't translated into more rest. In fact, I feel more exhausted than usual. Maybe I'm getting too much sleep, but that can't be it. I'm still getting up a couple of times nightly to nurse Tess.

Anyway, I've been working on the house the week- doing those jobs that I've put off for months and months like finally tackling all the paper piles around the house. I'm determined to organize and to purge everything that I haven't managed to find a home. It's a constant theme here that I fully believe that less is more. For instance, I decided that I'm selling my set of parfait glasses. I haven't used them in five years! Now, I know that I will find the yummiest parfait recipe as soon as they're sold, but oh, well. I am a minimalist at heart and I don't think that I'll miss them that badly. Right now, I'm reading Simplicity Parenting and I'm on the chapter that focuses on the impact of your child's environment. It's intuitive for me that cluttered spaces leave children feeling overwhelmed and anxious and frankly this isn't new information for me. I've read it all before. This chapter talks about toy overload. I got the boys together this week and we started going through their stuff looking for things that we might donate while organizing their room. I can see that they are visibly relieved when we organize their room and purge a few things. It's easier for the boys to focus on the things they actually do want to play with when there are fewer things to play with and they can easily find those things. They don't have to go searching through jumbled toychests looking for missing pieces.

I've written about this before, but it's worth repeating. It's so easy for things to mutliply in your house without you even noticing sometimes. Today, I just went ahead and chucked a few things. Normally, I just hate the idea of things going into land-fill, but I know Goodwill doesn't really want a box of old toys. They probably have more old broken toys than they know what to do with. So, I just threw them away and I felt relieved. They weren't anything special--just things picked up at garage sales over the last year or so.

It's not just the toys though and this is where Simplicity Parenting got my attention again.

It's the books! Not only are unloved toys the target. So are the books. I say this hesitatingly, but it's true. There is such thing as book overload.

Books offer such delight and satisfaction to children, conjuring magical worlds and bringing the wonder of our own right into their hands. How could it be possible to have "too many" of such good things?

-Simplicity Parenting

The same principle that applies to the toys also applies to the books. I have learned over the years that as much as I love books, I don't need to own everything. Over the past five years, I have relied heavily on my library and sometimes I'm much happier know that I have to return the book than having to find space on my bookshelves. Of course, I still buy books and probably too many of them, but I'm much choosier than I use to be.

I've noticed that my 4 year-old prefers reading the sam few books over and over. He has a special relationship with his favorites and many books just sit there. We want our children to have a connections with good stories and those favorites deserve a permanent place on on their shelves. Simplifying our children's environment is our goal and the same principle goes for both toys and books.

We honor the value of something (like reading) in our child's life by fostering a deep - not disposable - relationship to it.

-Simplicity Parenting

So, as we enter 2010, I'm going to be even more focused and determined to make even better purchasing decisions on everything. I always remind my boys that purchasing things has consequences. Where are we going to put those things? Will it hold your attention very long? Things are just that. Things. I plan for us to make better connections to our books and our crafts this year. I don't want them to just "consume" books, but to read and to make meaningful connections with those carefully chosen books. A simple environment clears the way for true connection.

Could I go a year without buying a new book?? Hmmmm....

What I've noticed

Despite the fact that my boys tell me that they really like their toys, I actually notice that they seem more content playing with sticks, Tinker Toys (okay, these are real toys), flashlights, pencils and other things found around the house. Just yesterday I observed Sammy pushing around a tape measure as if it were a car or truck. It held his interest a lot longer than if the tape measure had been a toy car. Despite the fact that Luke owns three different plastic light sabers (two bought new with his allowance and one found at a garage sale), he actually seems more content playing with a stick found in the front yard than playing with the actual light sabers. I don't think he would admit this, but I've noticed that stick around more than the light sabers. I did warn him to be very careful how he spent his allowance. Did he really need two different new light sabers just because they were different colors?? Maybe I just don't understand that each Jedi has his own color light saber. That's actually true. I have no idea what color Luke Skywalker's lightsaber is. Would he actually play with them as much as he thought he would? These are the questions I ask him before he purchases anything. As much as I knew that he would ultimately find some disappointment with his purchase, I knew I had to let him make the decision himself. I asked myself why he would want to spend his money this way when he never seemed disappointed by his own light sabers/swords fashioned from Tinker Toys.

As I have mentioned before, I am very much a less-is-more kind of person. I read somewhere that children become very overwhelmed with too many toys and then they end up not playing with a room full of abundance. Nothing holds their attention. In a room full of too many toys, there's no room for an imagination to flourish. So, when I see my boys' creativity with ordinary household items, it makes me happy. I have to admit that too many brightly colored plastic things just assault my senses. I think I'm overwhelmed just as easily as a child can be with too much stuff!

So, the other night, my husband and I were talking over our much diminished Christmas budget for this year. We jokingly said that we would just wrap up some twigs from our yard. Maybe we could give them each an orange. (It seems that many of the Christmas books we've read involve a child's delight over receiving a single orange, but that's another story.) Of course, the boys would be disappointed. They already have so many sticks around my house! There's no need for more of them. But what could we buy or make that would be memorable, special and something inspiring for them? I'm just plain out of ideas this year. I know that I have strict criteria, but I don't relish the idea of spending money on something that won't be treasured. I'd rather not give a gift. I have a very small budget, but that doesn't depress me. Actually, it challenges me. Any ideas??