Acceptance

I know that I have neglected my blog lately, but my mind has been elsewhere the past few weeks. We found out we were expecting in the beginning of August. I was completely happy and looking forward to another little one coming in April, but on Luke's 8th birthday, it was confirmed that our baby had died. I knew that things weren't going well. I was feeling too good and I never feel well when I'm pregnant. Usually, I'm pretty grossed-out by most foods and yet, this time I wasn't. I kept hoping and praying, but deep down I knew that something was wrong. I've never had a miscarriage before and it has been a strange experience. Of course I'm deeply saddened for this loss, but I am strangely accepting of it too. I know that God is in charge and that has been a comfort even when I was crying over our loss. Since then, I've kept up my routines for my family. I'm still trying to find our daily rhythm with our school time and trying to make sure there is joy in each day. Despite knowing that I will always feel that there is something missing I am still joyful and hopeful for the future.